Weird Things Said By My Friends and Family
by CK AG SD twilight lovers
Summary: The title pretty much says it all. This story is about funny or weird things said by my insane friends and family members. There are some words that may not be good for some readers.
1. Madison

**This is what my sister said one night when we were getting ready for bed.**

Well you know what I say to that, I don't give a fussa. I don't give a fussa cheese.

Once upon a time the grape had a happy and exploded.

Wake up you stupid cow!

Do I sound like a melon?

We all come to a point in our lives when we realize that the person(hobo) in our home doesn't love us anymore.

I'm a Mexican in disguise.

I will makeup you.

Turn you fuzzy dumbass.

Bus boys do not use beautiful words.

It looks like you shoved your foot up a bunny.

"Where should we eat?" I asked while we were driving. "PANCAKES! No, FRENCH TOAST!" Madison screamed from the backseat.

"Shit balls on ice."

**I'd like a few reviews but it doesn't really matter for this story. - AG**


	2. Meggie

**These are just a few of the hilarious things my friend Meggie has said.**

Our social studies teacher handed us a black sheet of paper. "Yay, current events." Meggie said. "What if it's a quiz?" I asked her. "Then we're screwed."

"Have you ever smelled a hobo?"

"Damn Canadians. They've had it too good for too long."

In math class I showed Meggie the stack of paper that is the book I've been writing for the past 9 months. "Yeah it's a stack of paper." She said. "No it's my book." She got a smile similar to :D on her face and took the papers out of my hands.

"A, B, C, D, E, F… is that 6?"

"Am I that much of a fantastic pizza?"

"I don't understand this." I said when we were doing our math homework. "Then do your math." Meggie said. "It's the math I don't understand!"

"Your mind is effed up dude."

Meggie started saying stuff I couldn't understand. "What are you talking about?" I asked her. "Pancakes."

Courtney was sitting in Meggie's spot in social studies. "Move." Meggie said to her. "No." She said back. "I will eat you whole."

"Get out of my grave!"

"The Cow!"

"Come on you banshee, get out!" Meggie said as she was ripping a piece of paper out of her notebook.

"Who is the shortest in this class?" Someone asked in social studies. "Your mother." Meggie said.

"You put Donkey Hong. What the hell is Donkey Hong?"

"BALLOONS!" Baylee yelled. "SHUT UP!" Meggie yelled back.

"Stop it you're hyper. Shut up I'm going to bite you."

"You've got the dramatic squirrel thing."

"Are you suggesting that I'm married to the Grinch?"

"Suck it up cupcake."

"I'm going to look like a raccoon."

"Jesus was like a zombie."

"What page is this on?"I asked Meggie in social studies. "2771 and a quarter."

"I can spell backwards. I can spell diagnoly too."

"My nose looks like an arrow."

"Don't you pour that milk on me."

"Can I have the milk please?" Meggie asked. I gave her the milk. "Mwahahaha, my weapon."

"She has a beard. It's like she's amish."

"Justin Bieber is the offspring of you and the Grinch." I said to Meggie. "First of all, I'm not married to the Grinch. Second, I DID NOT PRODUCE THAT THING!"

We were sitting in social studies. "Hey Meggie, how's your son?"I asked. She glared at me and then everyone in the room randomly got quiet. "I DID NOT PRODUCE THAT THING!"it sounded like she yelled because of how quiet the room was.

"It's like killing two birds with one stone. But ninjas can kill two stones with one bird."

"I'm not a murderer. People just taste good."

"I got a jesk for you Dessica." Meggie said to Jessica.

"Where's your humor?" Sydney asked Meggie. "Where I left it, in Albania."

"We got 2 wished, 2 witches, a witch, a wishes, a 3, and a knows."

"I'm totally going to say 'who the death' from now on. It's going to be my new catch phrase."

**I hope you enjoyed this. I would love it if you would review this. - AG**


	3. Courtney

**Some weird things my friend Courtney said.**

We were in study hall and I was about to bite her knee. "Don't bite my ankle!"

"I'm gonna shuffle my awesomeness."

We were sitting at the lunch table when Sydney said to her "You're killing them with your sexyness!" she turned to Meggie with a straight face saying "Sydney called me sexy."

"What if Ron and Snape had a kid?" Courtney said. I thought about it for a minute then said "If you combine their names you get rape."

"What if Carrot top and an Asian had a kid?"

"In my dream last night, you and Meggie we dressed up in bear suits trying to feed me pudding."

"In my dream, Taio Cruz came to the school and said 'Come up and dance with me!' so meggie got up and started dancing and singing with him! And then we all started bellydancing like the alien."

"I was gonna put hairspray in my hair...I sprayed on lens cleaner."

"If you screamed at cars like me and Jessica did then you wouldn't have this problem."

"Sorry, I was laying on the floor with a dazed look on my face."

**Hope you enjoyed. :) - AG**


	4. Sydney

**YAY! MORE RANDOMNESS FROM MY FRIENDS! This chapter is about my friend Sydney.**

"Stop talking like that." Sydney said to Meggie. "Talking like what?" Meggie replied. "Using big words."

Sydney drew a green mustache on a picture of Justin Bieber. "He's like half Grinch. He's Meggie and the Grinch's son!"I said. *After class in the hallway* Sydney walks up to Meggie. "I BLAME YOU FOR JUSTIN BIEBER!"

*In the lunch line* "I blame Meggie for Justin Bieber. I blame Justin Bieber for Canada. And it all comes back to the Grinch, who I blame for global warming." Sydney said.

I'm going to sharpen my wand.

I stalk FDR.

I stalk all of the former dead presidents. Stalking is one of my favorite pasttimes.

If you had a ginger unicorn, would it still be cool?

"I'm staring at a pole" Sydney said. "What are you doing to that pole Sydney?" I asked. "Washing it."

I'm plotting murder.

"When I got home from school I confronted my sister. 'I saw you raping Jason in the hallway. You're giving me a bad reputation because you're the school slut.'"

"I turn into a Mexican when I'm angry."

"O is a pimpass vowel."

"Holy balls they match."

"I'm good at being weird."

"She be snoopin'"

"I like your attitowards Canada."

"My cousin...(pause for a few seconds) is very attractive."

"She's the one who craps on ice and talks like a Mexican."

"Hey guys..I need to fix my bra."

"NO, I don't have a face."

"I'm allergic to pants."

"I have the eyes of a crack-head."

"My curls are toad."

**I would be very happy if you review - A****G  
By the way we have nothing against Mexicans.**


	5. Peyton

**Odd, funny and just plain weird things that my insane cousin Peyton has said.**

"Go suck a pineapple!"

"I wish you had more squirrel like features."

"Oh phooy, I dropped my books(in British accent), on ze floor, where my father lies." Peyton said. "Your father is dead?" her friend asked. "No you retard why would my father be dead?"

"Drop it low like a van."

"Holy cheese r us!" "Wow that was cheesy."

"Oh my gosh! My nose is like black! I could be half black! Now I can talk like a gangster. Yo homies I just got a new fish."

"We should party like its 1957! We can wear Kilts!"

"I think the only way the world can end is someone was to kill all the Mexicans, poor Hispanic Americans."

"I once saw a hobo and named him Fred. I miss Fred."

"Hold on. Wait a few minutes. You'll get something."

"That stupid cat. I thought it was a beaver."

"I was playing some wicked football, then I saw a squirrel, then I saw a light, then I was on the ground."

"I kind of thought my thumb disappeared."

"I couldn't find my arm one day."

"Me and my friends tried to sniff coke one day. Then the ice cubes got stuck in our noses."

"I like talk zebra speed."

"I sound like the grim reaper. Is in raper or reaper?"

"OW! MY THIGH!" Peyton said. "I thought you slapped your knee?" I said. "I tried, but I missed."

"Did you know that up to the age of 4 I thought that you had to spell the letters of the alphabet."

"Guess what I played with my cousin? Can you find my finger."

"What's a parka? Is like a polar bear?"

"Subway camel."

"Dude I felt like such a deprived child. I never had Lincoln logs."

"I tried to make rice paper. Did it work for me, of course not."

"Magic cream for my leg? Will it make it all better?" "No." "Screw off."

"Dude I felt like an Indian chief yesterday."

"Don't say that out loud. I'm trying to rape you."

Madison and Peyton were talking about songs that have the same tune. "I only know of two that have the same tune." Peyton said. "Which ones?" I asked. "Mary Had a Little Lamb and Twinkle Twinkle had a Little Star."

"Holy horse butts."

**I'd like some more reviews. I like to know what you think off all of this.- AG**


	6. Ecology

**I have no idea what led to these things but all of this happened during ecology. The people in my class are Nick, Jacob, Jacob, Tanner, Paige, and me. Paige and I only talk to each other and I'm not sure if Nick talks at all but only one of the Jacobs says interesting things so its not too confusing.**

"You're just jealous that your mom doesn't give you a second breakfast." Jacob said.

"I like your hair." Jacob said to the teacher. "What" he said. "Nothing"

"Did you know Tanner was in your fridge yesterday?" Jacob said to the teacher.

**Please review. I'm very interested in what you people think of this stuff. - AG**


	7. Vita

**Some of the odd things my aunt Vita has said.**

"It's the weekend. My brain is off."

"Just remember. Everything in life comes back to poop."

**I would really like to know what you people think of this stuff. Please review.**


	8. Bailey

**Okay I haven't updated this during the summer simply because I wasn't around people. But now it is a new school year which means more epic quotes.  
Well here is some things Bailey has said.**

"She's a green Russian dancing hippo."

"You're an ice rink." Bailey said to Meggie. "You're a lacrosse field."

"My school went to sister with your cousin."

"You're a cabbage head."

**I'm not too motivated right now so if you want more quotes faster I want reviews. -AG**


	9. Meggie 2011 2012

**I thought Meggie's other chapter was getting too long so I started a new one for this school year.**

"Spontaneous giraffe."

"In hell chickens run wild!"

"You scared it straight out of its package! You made it shit itself! I'm eating shit! I just ate shit!"

"Technically her sweatshirt licked you."

"I sound like a drugged up dolphin when I laugh."

"She will be the shit."

"My sternum itches."

"When the middle schoolers get here we're gonna shoot them with bibi guns...of PEPPINESS!"

"Do you want to buy my poop? Buy one get one free. Only $8"

"You took my source of warmth you bitch."

"Get out of my wallet fool."

"Are you going to make a tent and live in it?"

"I'll hang you from a donkey and beat you with a tree."

**Once again reviews are loved. I'm on the site almost every night so I'll be checking. -AG**


	10. Random Quotes

**This is the random page. There is going to be a lot of weird crap in this chapter and I'm not writing who said what.**

"Speak child you little loser."

"Black bears sleep in trees?"  
"They're like Winnie the Pooh."  
"But black."

"I'm not ugly. I'm a good lookin' dude."

"I'm going to eat you." "WHAT"

"They're like examles."

*During Spanish class*  
"You want to be one? Poof you're a lama."

*During Spanish class*  
"My dogs...are my favorite dogs...that I own."

*During Spanish class*  
"Stale at Makare."

**I do this for feedback from strangers. I love to read your reviews.  
I may have to make a chapter for spanish class -AG**


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